It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
