Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
