sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
