it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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