If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
