it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
