Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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