it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I will be naked everywhere
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize