Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
