yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
