you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
