You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
