my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize