You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize