Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
