bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
