you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
