I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
