Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
