Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
