Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
