My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize