I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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