Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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