You can't special order awesome
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
