Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize