Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
