lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
