Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
