Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
