just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
They should really pass out barf bags in church
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
