Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Panties = found
Randomize
