before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
high people should be assigned attendants
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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