It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
