My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize