If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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