May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
