He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
