C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
