discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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