Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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