After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
