She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
