she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
