I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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