i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
