Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
