Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
