Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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