our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Farmville is her only friend.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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