Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
