i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
