Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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