well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
