bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's the barista slut.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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