If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There's always time for handjobs
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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