Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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