You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
