It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
