i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
